Just a quote I came across in a book I'm reading:
"I said to the man at the gate of the Year - 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.' And he replied, 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light, and safer than a known way." - King George VI
Wes
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
A Cowboy's Prayer
Lord, I've never lived where churches grow.
I loved creation better as it stood
that day you finished it so long ago,
and looked upon your work and called it good.
I know that others find you in the light
that sifted down through tinted window panes,
and yet I seem to feel you near tonight -
in this dim, quiet starlight on the plains.
I thank you, Lord, that I'm placed so well
that you've made my freedom so complete
that I'm no slave to whistle, clock or bell,
nor weak eyed prisoner of Waller Street.
Just let me live my life as I've begun,
and give me work that's open to the sky.
Make me a partner of the wind and sun,
and I won't ask a life that's soft or high.
Let me be easy on the man that's down;
let me be square and generous with all.
I'm careless sometimes, Lord, when I'm in town.
But never let them say I'm mean or small.
Make me as big and open as the plains,
and honest as the horse between my knees -
clean as a wind that blows behind the rains,
free as the hawk that circles down the breeze.
Forgive me, Lord, if sometimes I forget;
you know about the reasons that are hid.
You understand the things that gall or fret;
well, you knew me better than my mother did.
Just keep an eye on all that's done or said,
and right me sometimes when I turn aside.
And guide me on that long, dim trail ahead
that stretched upward toward the great divide
Oh, bury me not on the lone prairie.
These words came low and mournfully
from the pallid lips of a youth who lay
on his dying bed at the close of day.
Oh, bury me not and his voice failed there;
but we took no heed to his dying prayer.
In a shallow grave - just six by three -
we buried him there on the lone prairie.
-Johnny Cash
I loved creation better as it stood
that day you finished it so long ago,
and looked upon your work and called it good.
I know that others find you in the light
that sifted down through tinted window panes,
and yet I seem to feel you near tonight -
in this dim, quiet starlight on the plains.
I thank you, Lord, that I'm placed so well
that you've made my freedom so complete
that I'm no slave to whistle, clock or bell,
nor weak eyed prisoner of Waller Street.
Just let me live my life as I've begun,
and give me work that's open to the sky.
Make me a partner of the wind and sun,
and I won't ask a life that's soft or high.
Let me be easy on the man that's down;
let me be square and generous with all.
I'm careless sometimes, Lord, when I'm in town.
But never let them say I'm mean or small.
Make me as big and open as the plains,
and honest as the horse between my knees -
clean as a wind that blows behind the rains,
free as the hawk that circles down the breeze.
Forgive me, Lord, if sometimes I forget;
you know about the reasons that are hid.
You understand the things that gall or fret;
well, you knew me better than my mother did.
Just keep an eye on all that's done or said,
and right me sometimes when I turn aside.
And guide me on that long, dim trail ahead
that stretched upward toward the great divide
Oh, bury me not on the lone prairie.
These words came low and mournfully
from the pallid lips of a youth who lay
on his dying bed at the close of day.
Oh, bury me not and his voice failed there;
but we took no heed to his dying prayer.
In a shallow grave - just six by three -
we buried him there on the lone prairie.
-Johnny Cash
Thursday, February 09, 2006
Phoenix in California
Anna and I went to a tour of Arcadia Methodist Hospital last night - the place where we're going to have our baby. It's actually the hospital where I did my chaplaincy internship, which gives me an added boost of confidencee. The hospital recently opened their new labor and delivery area, which I was able to see when I was there. The coolest part about the new wing is that everything is set-up to keep the baby with us even after the delivery (one of our big wishes). But, last night we were treated to another great surprise. The labor and delivery area has an outside garden where you can walk around in the great SoCal air. But I had already seen this area. What I didn't realize is that the Phoenix family has provided a large sum of cash to fund the garden area, and they are naming it the River Phoenix garden. Ah, to think that Joaquin Phoenix's cash from Cash is touching our lives in some (very) indirect and loose manner.
And to top it all off, we also won a free stroller from Arcadia.
Wes
And to top it all off, we also won a free stroller from Arcadia.
Wes
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Wait and Hope
My mother-in-law asked me this weekend if I felt “God was silent” in regards to our current situation. Her question got right to the heart of me and caused a brief cathartic moment. The backdrop to her question is our desire to find a place to call home, or, more specifically, my search for a job. To date, there isn’t much to report; I’ve yet to have a conversation with any church, which means the chances are slim we’ll know where we’re headed when our baby arrives come April.
Now, I’ve dealt with uncertainty before and usually it doesn’t bother me. Shoot, Anna and I drove out to Pasadena two weeks after getting married without any definite place to sleep – nor did we have an apartment set up. But the reality of a “baby on the way” automatically brings up all kinds of insecurities and a desperate need to have things settled. Which brings us back to the question of whether or not God is silent or unconcerned about us.
Well, I thought honestly about our situation. My first inclination was to answer, “yes,” because I couldn’t immediately call to mind God giving a clear sign – written in the sky above. But, the more I thought, the more I realized God hasn’t been silent; God’s been patient. The more I look at what’s going on around me, the more I see God has given daily bread – a small measure of grace here to lift us through a week or a transitory job to carry us through a month.
I was completely reassured of God’s patience this morning at a topical class at church. We were looking at Mark, chapter one, and specifically at instances of Jesus healing people of illness and casting out demons. We got to talking about Jesus commanding demons not to tell anyone of who He was, which begged the reasonable question, “Why would Jesus not want people to know about Him?” I’m not sure what the commentaries or biblical scholars say, but our inquisitive minds eventually settled up this answer: Jesus was patient; demons and Satan are not.
And the more I got to thinking about this trend, the more I realized that the Bible is saturated with God’s patience and, conversely, with demonic impatience. Almost everytime (perhaps everytime) the devil appears, the goal is to force God’s hand, to hurry up God’s timetable. Satan knows who Jesus is, but Satan’s error is trying to hurry up Jesus’ ministry. It’s not that the devil is proposing wrong solutions; the devil is just proposing the right solution at the wrong time.
That’s why the devil is so seductive (as Anna just said), and that’s why we, as humans, so frequently take the devil’s bait. I think it can be confidently said that many sins are committed because people get tired of waiting for God to act. The lives of the Israelites are plagued with the sin of “let’s act because God isn’t acting fast enough.” Idols were made to worship before Moses could tell the people how to truly worship, Israelites buy into the success of other peoples because they grow tired of waiting for God to give them success.
Or, just as dangerous as trying to act for God is a second grave danger: making God answer our demands and destroy our every fear. As an illustration of this wayward trend, Pastor Tony found himself watching a TBN program the other evening and was struck to hear pastors praying for God to “reveal” or “prove” Godself by answering needs … for money or healing or whatever. He pointed out the disturbing similarity between such “prayers” and the very words of Satan’s temptation in the desert when he beseeched Jesus to prove who He was. And as Tony pointed this out, I was forced back into my contemplation: is God silent or is God patient? Or, perhaps a more striking question, “Am I still concerned about serving God or have I begun to assume God will serve me. A slippery slope from discipleship to paganism this road is.
Faith is so often a cultivation of waiting and hoping. This is what I’m trying to remind myself as I continue to wait and hope for God to act. It’s not easy, and I’m not saying I do it well. Not even Jesus did it without great consternation while suffering tremendous stress. But, I’m thankful that Jesus did do it and that He was patient enough to wait on God. May my attitude be like that of Christ Jesus; may yours be as well.
Wes
Now, I’ve dealt with uncertainty before and usually it doesn’t bother me. Shoot, Anna and I drove out to Pasadena two weeks after getting married without any definite place to sleep – nor did we have an apartment set up. But the reality of a “baby on the way” automatically brings up all kinds of insecurities and a desperate need to have things settled. Which brings us back to the question of whether or not God is silent or unconcerned about us.
Well, I thought honestly about our situation. My first inclination was to answer, “yes,” because I couldn’t immediately call to mind God giving a clear sign – written in the sky above. But, the more I thought, the more I realized God hasn’t been silent; God’s been patient. The more I look at what’s going on around me, the more I see God has given daily bread – a small measure of grace here to lift us through a week or a transitory job to carry us through a month.
I was completely reassured of God’s patience this morning at a topical class at church. We were looking at Mark, chapter one, and specifically at instances of Jesus healing people of illness and casting out demons. We got to talking about Jesus commanding demons not to tell anyone of who He was, which begged the reasonable question, “Why would Jesus not want people to know about Him?” I’m not sure what the commentaries or biblical scholars say, but our inquisitive minds eventually settled up this answer: Jesus was patient; demons and Satan are not.
And the more I got to thinking about this trend, the more I realized that the Bible is saturated with God’s patience and, conversely, with demonic impatience. Almost everytime (perhaps everytime) the devil appears, the goal is to force God’s hand, to hurry up God’s timetable. Satan knows who Jesus is, but Satan’s error is trying to hurry up Jesus’ ministry. It’s not that the devil is proposing wrong solutions; the devil is just proposing the right solution at the wrong time.
That’s why the devil is so seductive (as Anna just said), and that’s why we, as humans, so frequently take the devil’s bait. I think it can be confidently said that many sins are committed because people get tired of waiting for God to act. The lives of the Israelites are plagued with the sin of “let’s act because God isn’t acting fast enough.” Idols were made to worship before Moses could tell the people how to truly worship, Israelites buy into the success of other peoples because they grow tired of waiting for God to give them success.
Or, just as dangerous as trying to act for God is a second grave danger: making God answer our demands and destroy our every fear. As an illustration of this wayward trend, Pastor Tony found himself watching a TBN program the other evening and was struck to hear pastors praying for God to “reveal” or “prove” Godself by answering needs … for money or healing or whatever. He pointed out the disturbing similarity between such “prayers” and the very words of Satan’s temptation in the desert when he beseeched Jesus to prove who He was. And as Tony pointed this out, I was forced back into my contemplation: is God silent or is God patient? Or, perhaps a more striking question, “Am I still concerned about serving God or have I begun to assume God will serve me. A slippery slope from discipleship to paganism this road is.
Faith is so often a cultivation of waiting and hoping. This is what I’m trying to remind myself as I continue to wait and hope for God to act. It’s not easy, and I’m not saying I do it well. Not even Jesus did it without great consternation while suffering tremendous stress. But, I’m thankful that Jesus did do it and that He was patient enough to wait on God. May my attitude be like that of Christ Jesus; may yours be as well.
Wes
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
New Addition to the Family
All hail the sphere! Ah, we've made a new addition to our home, and not just any basic shape would do - not cube, nor triange ... not cone, nor trapezoid. Nope, only a spherical ball affectionally called "temporary seat/birthing ball/future rocking chair/modern piece of art/design" will do.
We picked the ball up tonight at our Bradley method class, which we have been taking for the last four weeks. [Backstory: Bradley method is a delivery theory which encourages natural childbirth and husband coaching throughout labor]. One of the big tips our Bradley instructor has given us is to use movement and adjusting positions throughout labor to ease the pain. She said the ball facilitates this, and to help us understand the benefits of the ball our instructor had all of the women sit on it tonight. That sold Anna. I was a push-over from there.
And when we got home we realized the other great use for the ball: a chair. [Backstory: over the last week yet another of our chairs has lost a leg - actually this one just started to lean a little too heavily to the right until yesterday it just collapsed.] So here I sit writing a little, listening to music and bouncing on the ball with gyriating motions. I can already feel my hips loosening up - returning to their pre-9-to-5-in-a-chair routine.
The ball also helps fill up space in our rather barren apartment. [Backstory: over the last month, we've done some serious cleaning and clearing as we get ready for the baby. I guess our first stage of nesting has been a complete rehaul of sorts - taking our apartment back down to its foundation so we can properly organize and set-up our home. Our apartment definitely feels less cluttered. But ... the cleaning definitely took a toll on us this past Saturday. About the time I had the mattress off to one side of our bedrood, our box springs leaning against another wall, boxes all over the floor and the vacuum going, I knew we had committed ourselves to way TOO MUCH for an easy Saturday. By the end of it all, we were both drained, crabby and, yet, also thankful to have cleared that hurdle. Best of all, we could breathe so much more easily since we got rid of all the dust in our bedroom. And I'm not talking about the normal "wipe your finger across the shelf and get a trace of dust on your finger." No, the dust build-up in SoCal is incredible, indescribable really. Let's just say the dust bunnies were akin to the rabbit in Monty Python's Holy Grail: "dynamite!"]
Anyhow, we're glad to have the ball in our home. Just a small addition to our family as we wait and prepare for the next big thing, err ... I mean the next small baby, which will be the big thing.
Wes
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