Pledging

When I was a college freshman I was encouraged to join a fraternity for all the real world benefits it offered: business connections, accomplishing demands on very limited sleep, understanding committees (and Robert’s Rules of Order), a sense of class, and plenty of memories to link me imperceptibly, but definitely to a band of brothers.

According to these impressive assets, not pledging seemed like a tragic mistake – one that would forever doom you to the realm of starving artist, social outcast or, worse, a kid destined to return home with nothing more than a college degree and no progress up the social ladder. Consequently, most freshmen – including me – were willing to swallow these supposed truths out of fear and faith – hoping that at the end of four years these upperclassmen were not just feeding them a corporate lie.

In reality, though, most of us joined a fraternity not because of the benefits it could add to our careers. That would have been much too mature. We joined – frankly – because we wanted to belong … or, perhaps more accurately, we were afraid of being left out in the cold, having to suffer and despair through nine months in a new place with no definite social life, no gang to belong to.

It’s funny. If you walked up to someone and asked them to pledge himself to something right then and there, it might seem rather ridiculous … or frightening. Pledging oneself to something carries a gravity to it more often associated with cults (which, of course, some people see fraternities as). But, throw in the promise of weekend toga parties, pictures of beautiful girls, and a hyper-masculine whirlwind of noise, revelry and bravado, and, hey, sign me up.

Of course, one of the great secrets of fraternities (and sororities) is the constant, deeply pervasive fear that you – as a freshman – may very well not be admitted into this community, this social circle of promise. You might just be left off “their” list when the final vote is taken, and you may never make it to the day when you can offer your consent and desire. This “you may get to” attitude has a very subtle, yet profound effect – playing upon fear and privilege. Tell me how it is any different than what a Latino kid faces in East Los Angeles or a young black male trying to eek out some security and some status in Queens.

So … if you asked me now what I got out of being in a fraternity … from pledging myself to the virtues and ideals of Delta Upsilon, I can’t give you just one answer.

There is a crap-load of funny stories. There are some moments that make me extremely proud. There are moments that make me extremely sad and embarrassed. There are people I will never forget and for whom I will always care. There are some tangible, practical lessons I learned about life – e.g. all of us have deep-seeded brokenness and hope mixed together in our tender souls. There is a mysterious, shall I say religious, tie that comes from common memory, song and place. There is this realization: we have a deep desire to be significant (and to be a part of something significant) – a desire so strong we are willing to take a leap of faith.

Most of us are willing to swallow propaganda and hope it is truth … especially if it comes with free beer and immediate inclusion.

Wes
Dikaia Upotheke