Life and Constrictions

Once again, days have moved into the past and our correspondence through this blog has been missing. There are several reasons for the absence. Anna and I often blame the lack of internet in our home as one of the major reasons. That, in part, is true. With the inability to sit down and write an update conveniently or quickly, we have moved on to other forms of communicating with our friends and family. Anna - much to her own surprise - has begun using Facebook much more regularly. She also now uses her iPhone to check those select blogs and people that give her own life substance and invigoration.

I have tried to use Facebook, developing an on-again, off-again affair. But, it just hasn't taken yet for me.

And, I cannot blame the lack of internet for my absence. I am fortunate enough to have a laptop and internet access throughout Greencastle.

The major reason for my silence goes deeper than availability. It results from my life being radically different and from the result of what I would call a "birthing" process. For these past several months have largely been a process of pressure and exertion for me personally and for us as a family.

I know that I have been working harder at life and for life than I ever have. I'm not sure that is entirely a good thing, but - for better and for worse - I have been expending energy to get an old house into a decent place to live. For better and for worse, I have been extending myself to a congregation, seeking to aid them in their life as disciples and in their life as a community of believers. For better and for worse, I have been trying to find my place in Greencastle. And I am consequently left with little energy or time to write.

This concerns me, but I take solace knowing this may just be a season, which leads me back to the "birthing" image.

Recently, I read that God's movement in our lives is always like His activity with the Israelites in Exodus. First of all, God continuously brings us through places of "constriction." Like God's desire to pull his people out of Egypt, God's desire is to pull us out of the unbearable pressure of slavery. However, this delivery does not come easily. God's way of delivering us comes with great travail and hardship ... like passing between the mighty walls of water, being chased by hordes of opposition.

It is not easy, but God does deliver. And that leads to the second movement: God delivers us into a new, open space. God puts us out into a broad, open field.

The analogy to labor is undeniable: from confinement to constriction to deliverance and new life.

And within that analogy, I would say that I am still very much in the area of constriction. I am finding myself in the intense pressure that comes from being born anew, from having my world radically altered ... from going from an father to one child as an associate pastor living in the city to being the father of two kids as a solo pastor living out in the country.

In other words, the reasons are many why I don't blog as often nowadays. But, in due time, I hope that the way will open to write more frequently. But, I do not know. I am being born again, and I cannot yet see where God is delivering me ... to what place I am being born into.

Wes