Garage Sale

We're having a garage sale ... and in order to give you some indication of the madness these things produce in Owensboro, I'm going to keep a running blog:

It's 6:55 am, and even though we advertised a garage sale for a 7 am start time, there are already six or seven cars outside. People are parking in front of the drive way already. Weather is crappy, but Gran says that should lead to serious buyers if they do show. Like the fact that there is no clear class distinction ... Geo's and Volvo's parked right next to each other.

7:56 am: selling lots of small stuff; no major furniture pieces have moved yet. I put up some signs for further advertisement only to discover there is a garage sale ten houses down the street. So, I checked out the other sale ... we definitely have better stuff. I also put up a sign across the street from the other garage sale. I feel like I'm back in Tijuana bartering.

8:52 am: The cars continue to come. It's not quite Field of Dreams, but we're getting there. I stepped out to get groceries from the farmer's market - hoping we would sell at least one antique by the time I got back. No luck. Lots of nibblers ... come to think of it, garage sales do seem a lot like fishing.

9:48 am: Anna's mad at me. She can't believe I sold an area rug for $15 (it was priced at $30). I told her it needed to go. She thought we got robbed. For an area rug that had stains all over it, I don't think so. People to come. I'm piping in some Miles Davis to the garage to lure the masses into some easy consumption. A good reason to have a garage sale: to meet your neighbors, including young couples who enjoy some of the same things you do. It's getting hot outside ... armpit hot like only the south can get. Now it's really starting to feel like a garage sale.

10:47 am: I just loaded up our old kitchen table from Pasadena ... $65. It wasn't even for sale, but a family stopped in and said they needed something to fit their new kitchen ... said this table was perfect for it. Anna is getting delirious. She tried to feed Zoe (the dog) Wyatt's yogurt by mistake. Wyatt has been trouncing in puddles and getting day-old grass-clippings all over him. No one will even look at the nicer pieces of furniture. Well, some very quiet, meticulous man did look over one piece for about five minutes. But, in the end, nothing. I think people love the idea that a .50 cent item will fill the last little niche left in their personal storage of satisfaction.

11:47 am: Feeling depressed ... or, at least, unsatisfied. I sold my two collegiate chemistry books (intro to chem and organic chemistry) for $1.50. I believe I paid over $100 for each of those text books. Information is so worthless anymore. No one cares about my high school wardrobe. I figured at least a few of the super-baggy shirts would still be in style here. Wrong. The garage is empty, and people are mostly window shopping now - lazily floating by and looking over the furniture like tired old buzzards. Why is no one buying the furniture! I think we'll have to load up the truck and the van again and dump most of this stuff off at a consignment shop or Goodwill. I think I might just leave everything on the driveway overnight; maybe some possums can use the stereo receiver.

1:25 pm: I took an extended break to trim my hair. Apparently, I didn't miss much. Although, we do think someone swiped a cross with a bible verse on it. There's just too much to say about that right now ... I feel like I waited for Jesus' second coming, and it didn't happen. The euphoria is gone. All that is left is the hard work of picking up the pieces and the sobering reality that I didn't make millions.

3:16 pm: A new type of shopper emerges. Steady. Patient. Not prone to senseless, competitive buys. Hoping the masses have left behind something they may want. These new shoppers know we are desperate. I just unloaded a Sony receiver (great for "home theatre" I wrote on the box) that could have sold on eBay for $50 or more. This guy got it for $35, and I threw in an audio cable. It was a good exchange. The sun is bright.